What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

I have a belching problem—both literally and figuratively. On the literal side, let’s just say that carbonated beverages don’t do me any favors. My husband still shakes his head in disbelief (and perhaps some dismay), when his tall, slender bride delivers a deep, throaty belch that puts even his bass drum to shame.

I’m pretty sure that was a post-nuptial surprise he hadn’t planned on.

Bevvies aside, however, there’s another kind of belching I do that he probably didn’t bank on either: criticism.

Proverbs 15:2 says, “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.”

I’m a belching fool, ya’ll. I often joke that I “comment” on things, but really that’s just a nice way of saying, I criticize.

Criticism, according to Merriam-Webster is: the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing; a remark or comment that expresses disapproval of someone or something; a person strongly resembling that of Sarah Nguyen (hint: that’s me!).

“But wait,” you say, “that verse says a fool belches foolishness, not criticism.” True. Yet for me, criticism—in this context of speaking negatively or disapprovingly—is a kind of foolishness. Being foolish means “showing a lack of good sense, judgment, or discretion.”

Somehow, I’ve managed to mount a 30-plus year defense trying to convince myself and others that my commentary is not harmful. That me casually suggesting the right turn you just took was not smart because now we’re stuck in traffic. Or that perhaps you should have watched a “how to” video on YouTube before calling a technician over to the house to take $300 of our hard-earned money for flipping a switch on and off. Or that the assembly of said item wouldn’t have gone wrong if you had just read the directions more carefully.

Criticism. Criticism. Criticism.

It’s foolish to believe that such “commentary “ is helpful. It’s not. It slowly chips away at the value of a person and belittles them. And these little criticisms add up. When I really evaluate what I’m saying, each statement by itself is fairly innocuous. But when continuously linked together, they can do some serious damage. Much like eating a super spicy hot wing. The first one goes down ok. But by the third or fourth, what started as a comfortable heat has compounded into a raging inferno in your mouth.

I’m done taking Tums (metaphorically speaking). I’m done treating the symptom of my poor choices. It’s time to change what comes out of my mouth. To start replacing criticism with praise and to stop belching foolishness.

I know I’m not alone in this. Now more than ever our social media-driven society is big into belching foolishness. Debates and discussions quickly turn into browbeating barrages and attacks. Unnecessary and unwarranted criticism is rampant.

It’s time to change our discourse. To carefully consider what we say before we say it. To weigh the impact of our words. To put ourselves in the shoes of the listener and ask ourselves, “Is this helpful or hurtful?”

It’s time to focus on loving others well. To focus on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and praiseworthy. It’s time to step up our etiquette game, squelch the belch and instead be vocal in our encouragement for one another.

And if we can’t be nice, then let’s heed the advice of Thumper’s mother from Bambi who said, “If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all.”

#tossthetums #silenceisgolden #speaklove #squelchthebelch #kindnessovercriticism

Aim For Progress Not Perfection

Aim For Progress Not Perfection

I was recently browsing in one of my favorite little boutique gift shops and admiring all the trendy sunglasses, beautiful handcrafted jewelry, quirky coffee mugs, and more that I would NOT be buying that day. Believe me, I wanted to. And I was so close to pulling out my wallet for a pair of red sunglasses that would have made me feel like a classy black-and-white film actress on par with the likes of Audrey Hepburn.

But I didn’t.

Why? Because this funny little voice in my head kept repeating the same two words over and over like ticker tape: responsible adult…responsible adult…responsible adult. Continue reading “Aim For Progress Not Perfection”

Control Is An Illusion

Control Is An Illusion

I have a guru…and his name is Marc. To be fair, Marc didn’t asked to be my guru. I simply took the liberty of labeling him that after he wrapped up one of the most amazing 90-minute massages I’ve had to date.

Somewhere between the foot reflexology and working out the knots in my right calf, Marc hit me with an eerily on-point truth about myself. Continue reading “Control Is An Illusion”

Recipe For Success

Recipe For Success

Ever heard of liquid aminos?

I was trying out a new recipe the other day that called for this ingredient—something so foreign to me that I had to Google what is was and where to find it in a grocery store.

Turns out it’s just a fancy way of saying: soy sauce alternative.

When I texted my husband that it was going to be in his beef and broccoli dinner that evening I received a lovely “vomiting” emoticon back as a response. (For the record, my husband is Asian, so he is somewhat of an authority on all things soy, rice, and sriracha). But even he hadn’t tried this before, so I kindly texted back not to knock it before he tried it.

Truth be told though, I was nervous too. Last time I used a seasoning alternative it did not go well. But we were in for a pleasant surprise, because this time it did go well.

That got me thinking though about the nature of recipes. They never start out perfect, do they? By the time they get to the consumers, they have been tested umpteen times because there have been umpteen failures. It is only through the mistakes, trials, and errors that a recipe finally emerges as perfected and good.

What a great metaphor for our lives. We never hit perfect on the first try. We make mistakes, we fail, and we figure out how to do things better. It’s easy to forget that when all we see is a “perfect recipe” in front of us. We don’t always see the blood, sweat, and tears that went in to creating it.

Maybe you are in that place right now. The place of blood, sweat and tears. The place of mistake after mistake after mistake. Don’t be discouraged if you’re failing right now at something. Just remember that it’s all part of the process of creating something beautiful. Something you can be proud of.

Keep pushing, keep trying, keep reaching toward your hopes and dreams. Your recipe for success WILL come.

Liquid aminos and all.

Want To Accomplish More? Stop Multitasking

Want To Accomplish More? Stop Multitasking

For over a year now, I’ve kept a daily planner on my desk. There it sat, in all its beautiful unopened glory. Blank pages staring back at me. Waiting for me to get my act together.

Ironically, my ongoing excuse—however legitimate it may have been—was that I didn’t have time to open the planner and make my life more efficient. I was too busy running around like a headless chicken to stop and make sense of it all. Continue reading “Want To Accomplish More? Stop Multitasking”